It’s come to my attention, via TikTok – where I get a lot of my information these days – that Gen Z declared war on the Millennials. I mean, culture war, technically, but it’s still got “war” in the name.

What these Gen Zs had the absolute audacity to do was, I mean really, wait for it…was to state that if you wear skinny jeans or have a side part that means you are old. There’s also some stuff about emojis and things but the sideparts and skinny jeans have really been the lede.

And the Millennials, who have enjoyed telling Boomers & GenXers that they are old for various reasons since they entered their teens, went insane.

I popped myself some karma flavored popcorn and scrolled through all the socials as the throwdown spread from videos on TikTok to hot takes on Twitter and finally, mom blog entries posted to Facebook. I’m sure there was a whole thing on Snapchat, but I don’t Snap BECAUSE I AM OLD. For sure the whole social media spectrum was represented – there were moms shooting videos showing their center parts and big jeans to prove their hipness, there were women defending their choice to cling to skinnies and sideparts as the best one for them aesthetically so they wouldn’t be changing any damn thing to the ones that were actually mad that these young uns dared to call them old. 

How could they possibly be old? Millennials are wailing.

Because 20-year olds think 30 is old, that’s how. 

I thought it when I was young and you thought it when you were young. Social media just gave kids a way louder megaphone to share their views. Instead of shaming moms in the privacy of their own home, like my generation and I’m sure the ones before me, you can literally shame your parent to millions of people. And who says technology isn’t always progress? How efficient to blast your disrespect globally. 

As a GenXer, I’m going to admit here that when Millennials started showing up in the work place, I was not a fan. You can talk about the boring ass Eeyore GenX low energy vibe we bring to everything and I’m not going to shush you but, for real, those kids came in entitled in a way that was nothing short of spectacular. 

I had recent college grads announce they felt they were ready for director level positions after four months on the job. I had employees just not show up to work for a few days – not communicate at all – and act shocked that there would be any type of negative consequence for that action. That I wouldn’t just understand they were going through some shit and needed time. 

So, yeah, at the time my 35-year-old ass wasn’t impressed with the crop of new recruits and they, for sure, did not hold back in letting me know the various ways I was severely out of touch about “how things were now”.  I’m not exactly upset that Millennials are getting a taste of their own attitude. 

There’s also some sympathy mixed in with my gloating. Because it does suck when the younger generation starts pointing out the myriad of ways you are no longer cool. And they do that nasty little knowing giggle thing in front of you, like when you don’t understand a slang term or, yes, you continue to wear your skinny jeans after it’s been deemed uncool. Getting older is challenging enough without some smug little assholes reminding you of it. 

I also grew to love many Millennials that crossed my path as I got to know them better and understood where they were coming from and how their life experience shaped their approach to things. I can appreciate their spirit and, on occasion, have even benefitted from their cheerleading about knowing your worth. And, as the elder Millennials cross the threshold to 40, I see their pain. I feel their pain. Turning 40 was a bitch.  

So, this is for them, my friends feeling the sting from the Gen Z judgement, a message from this old ass GenXer to you – 

Wear your fucking skinny jeans and part your hair wherever the fuck you want to. That’s what I learned from being mocked by you Millennials. It toughens you up…fast. I don’t give a flying fuck if I don’t know the latest term or never learn a TikTok dance, on God (look it up if you have to). What the fuck are you doing to yourself? These are not legitimate measures of any facet of your worth. 

Drop. It. 

Now, if you think that complaining about feeling old based on your pants or your part is a cute look for you, we need to have whole ass other conversation. But, I’ll cut to the chase on that – it’s not.

To wrap up, if you give in on the hair or the cut of your jeans, next week it will be something else – the fact you drive a mid-size SUV or that you insist on decorating for holidays – I mean, I don’t know, what I do know is there will always be somebody out there trying to make you feel uncool for some way you live your life. 

Don’t let them.

In this case, they are children

And, here’s the best part, in less time than they can even contemplate, they themselves will be in their 30s and the generation right behind them will be trend shaming them. 

*sing it with me* It’s the circle of life….

We’ll all be ok.  Uncool denim, wonky hair styles and all.