Don’t you sometimes wish that you could unsee a movie just to have the delight of seeing it again for the first time? Yeah…that’s not what I’m going to be talking about here.

I want to talk about movies that I’ve seen that actually made me pretty angry that their images were imprinted in my brain for the rest of my life. It’s those movies that you try not to ever recall, but there they are, nudging into your consciousness. It’s like that thing, where if you try to not think about a blue car then all you can think about are blue cars. I’m not saying these are bad movies. No, in fact, in some cases they were just too good. And sometimes, it’s because they were garbage.

I decided to share a list of a few of the movies I wish I could unsee. Because, you know what, there’s been a shit ton of stuff going down lately that I want to unsee too. That’s sort of where my head is at right now. But I’m keeping it light and here they are in no particular order:

Terms of Endearment – All I have to do is flip by a channel that is playing this and, it doesn’t matter what scene it is, I start to tear up. It’s ridiculous. And if I happen to catch the scene where Aurora crawls into Baby Emma’s crib, forget it. It’s Tissue Time. I admit, I tear up at just about everything at this point in my life, but the tears I have spilled over this movie would fairly be called copious. I now avoid any scenes of this film at all costs. I can’t say why it’s this movie in particular and not, say, Philadelphia (OK, to be real, the scene of Andrew and Miguel dancing in dress whites, forget it.), or Beaches or Steel Magnolias, but Terms of Endearment is my emotional kryptonite.

District 9 – You know how I said that sometimes they movies are too good? This is one of them. My husband and I went to see this on a date night. (Side bar: I hate the term “date night” for spending intentional time with your significant other to keep your relationship afloat but I don’t have an alternative. It makes it sound like you curled your hair in some 70’s wing action and put on your best blue eye shadow so your SO could throw you a hubba hubba. Gross. Could someone please get on a new term for me?) We were in a friggin’ theatre and we’d paid for popcorn and everything and it wasn’t that far into the movie when the voice in my head, the voice that really knows me, just started saying “no…no…no…no…” over and over. I was squirming in my seat and sweating when that arm thing happened. I don’t think that counts as a spoiler. So, ok, that’s when I called time of death and left. And I never walk out of a movie. But the arm thing, it’s still there. In my mind.

A Clockwork Orange – Similar to District 9, I couldn’t handle the realness of this fantasy film. The accurate portrayal of how random violence can be was captivating, but I’d love to flush all of it from my brain. The dead eyed delivery of bodily harm by Alex while performing “Singin’ In the Rain” chilled me to the bone. I remain chilled as I typed that. I saw it at an independent theatre that has super comfy seats and it still took me several months to even go back in there because I’d think of stupid Malcolm McDowell every time I walked by. He ruined “Singin’ In The Rain” for me. Just the song though, not the movie, I love the movie.

Smurfs 2 – There are so many family movies that could be on this list. Having kids exposes you to some crap. So much of it is total garbage, like this one. At the end of this movie, that I feel like I need to note that I paid theatre prices to see, I wanted more than anything to get back the time I’d spent watching it. The whole thing was an indecipherable mess. I can’t even begin to give you plot points because I’m not sure there even were any. Something about a sexy evil Smurfette named Vexy and Paris and Neil Patrick Harris making sure his role in this flick was cut waaaaay back from the first one. It seriously seemed like NPH filmed his part on a weekend break from being awesome. Or whatever he was spending the bulk of his day doing. My concluding thought on this one was: Hank Azaria, you’re better than this.

Which brings me to –

Unbreakable – If the other movies I noted are in no particular order, this one is. It is the pinnacle and the most desired movie for me to unsee. This M. Night Shyamalan work was released in 2000 and I swear to God, I’ve thought it about it every day since. In particular there’s a scene where some random psychopath knocks on the door of the house of this super nice family. When someone answers the knock, the psycho goes “I like your house” and then proceeds to visit a reign of terror upon the super nice family until Bruce Willis shows up. For about 17 years now, when there’s an unexpected knock on my door, my mind sprints to “I like your house” and I’m like, “yeah, I’m not going to answer that”. What a relief it would be to erase those images from my memory. So, thanks, M. Night Shyamalan for terrifying me.

Just putting this list together caused me to relive those moments I’d rather never happened. What are the movies that scared or moved you so much you’d like to unsee them?