We just got back from a vacation in Las Vegas and I feel compelled to share that #howwevegas now is a far cry from the debauched binges of our past. So much so that it makes me a little uncomfortable when people ask “what did you do?” and I answer with a few of what I consider highlights and they respond with that polite head nod coupled with raised eyebrows thing. “Oh, that sounds fun” they say.

Does it?

Don’t play with me. I know what you’re thinking. We’re boring.

I’d taken to self deprecatingly waving off the question with an “oh, you know, we do Vegas like old people now” until I realized it was probably insulting to old people. I mean, who hasn’t seen an 80+ year old staked out at a slot machine at 5 in the morning and you know she’s been there all night?

I know I have because that’s the time when we lace up our tennis shoes and do a quick 5 miles through and around the casinos to start our day. It’s the best time because it’s relatively cool outside and there are no crowds. That’s right. That’s how we rollout.

We greet the custodians and wave at the early shift workers as we pass. They’re fresh and haven’t been ground down by a day of serving and cleaning up after assholes, so there’s a Snow-White-greeting-her-animal-friends kind of vibe between us. We’re so virtuous in our athletic shorts with our BPA-free water bottles. Like the (always) annoying adult characters in a teen Disney sitcom.

After that we enjoy a breakfast made up of food that can remember where it came from (no buffet gluttony here any longer) then we head to the pool – as it opens. This is an important point because I have to get a spot in the shade with an umbrella and my fellow early risers seem to prefer this location as well. It’s like we’re all cruising that early bird special at Sweet Tomatoes.

Slathered with SPF and topped by a sun hat, I’m very happy to spend my day poolside (well, technically a row or two behind the pool under the palm trees) reading, lounging and people watching. I take a hard pass on the buckets of beer or 32 ounce cocktails but I do enjoy watching others get drunk.

Evenings are taken up with wandering around and seeing the sights. The Walgreens on the strip are emporiums of wonder that shouldn’t be missed. I’m not even kidding. They’re regular Walgreens but on steroids, the sheer volume of the eclectic mix of offerings is staggering. Plus, in the evening the customers provide a high level of entertainment. Sure, watch the Bellagio fountain show, but stop in Walgreens across the street for a whole other type of show.

So, yeah, I just recommended you go to Las Vegas and visit the Walgreens. What?

Sometimes we go to an actual show. This trip we saw Donnie and Marie’s show at the Flamingo. I’m not using their last name because if you don’t know who I’m talking about I’m not sure why you’re even on this site. They are OG entertainers and I’m not even going to get into how much I love them here because it would take up too much space but suffice it to say if you went to Vegas and hung out by the pool but didn’t get any tiny hint of a tan and went to their show and visited Walgreens, I would say that was a hell of a trip.

That’s #howwevegas now folks. I’m embracing it as an evolution. However, I’m not blind to the fact that we’re like two clicks away from matching sweatsuits.